Top Geat Skit (Emma and Millie Show)

The Emma and Millie Show
TopGear Special

Emma: Hello and welcome to the show. Tonight… we test Peugeot to the limit when Hamster races their new rally car on the Mans circuit and we have a panel show regular in our reasonably priced car.
Lottie: but first the news, and I have received news that there will be a delay in the Dacia Sandero coming to Britain because it won’t be popular because you keep slagging it off Jeremy
Emma: I don’t slag it off, I just don’t care that’s all
Millie: you know that Dacia is owned by Renault
Lottie: it’s one of their off shoot companies, yes
Emma: you know our campaign to ban stupid road signs
Millie: yes
Emma: well I was looking on the internet and I found this
http://images.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://i183.photobucket.com/albums/x136/Bish-Bish/stupid_signs.jpg&imgrefurl=http://world-of-bert.blogspot.com/2007_09_01_archive.html&h=338&w=450&sz=40&hl=en&start=25&um=1&usg=__wdDAaiHwvBD6CioTMYmm9p3Iiac=&tbnid=WwGAg1LnJCWsQM:&tbnh=95&tbnw=127&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dstupid%2Bsigns%26start%3D20%26ndsp%3D20%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26safe%3Dvss%26sa%3DN
Millie: well I found this funny one
http://robertstevenson.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/funny_road_signs_012.jpg
Emma: so true, so true
Millie: The other day, I was given a task to speed up a bit. So I decided to go the homeland of one of the best and fastest cars around, that won’t kill me. So I went to France and more specifically the Mans circuit to find out more… (Skips to what would be pre-recorded material) I am here at the original home of the Grand Prix where I have been told to wait for my vehicle.
Ah, here it is. Now (get’s given a golden envelope, he opens it and reads out the contents to the camera) this is the new Peugeot Eurodata rally car. You have half an hour to do your qualifying laps and then you and your passenger will race the Renault Formula One car in a series of tasks to see which, truly, is the best car racing event… that’s not fair racing a formula one car in this, I’m going to lose!
(Camera cuts to Emma and Lottie, outside the circuit)
Lottie: we are here outside the Le Mans circuit to see which of us will be driving the Formula One car, it’s going to be you mate, I’m sure it’s going to be you
Emma: you can’t be so sure though (gets handed envelope, opens it and and laughs) it’s you mate
Lottie: you are kidding,
Emma: I’m not it’s you (hands over envelope)
Lottie: ***
(Emma laughs while Lottie scowls)
Lottie: it’s not funny
Emma: yes it bloody is
(Cuts back to Millie who has just been handed another envelope and is reading it to the camera)
Millie: …not only that, The Stig is the judge and will give you marks on overtaking style and how much distance you keep between you and the Formula One car, you will lose marks if it is ahead of you. Every second you put between you will be worth 10 points and if you win the race, you gain an extra 20 points but if you lose you have to buy the winner’s champagne and…
Lottie: (reading) you have to pay for the night’s meal. Right, we’re eating at McDonalds…
Emma: see you at the finish line James
(Video cuts out)
Emma: (back in the studio) it seems we have lost the tape on that and it won’t come back on again
Lauren: (as Floor manager) you’ve blown the whole fuse
Millie: can you fix it?
Lauren: not without…
(Blackout)
Emma: (as announcer) The BBC apologises for the loss of programming, we are unable to get the program back so we will go on with the schedule, here is the news with Hew Edwards

END

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